If a drunken Stanford tree falls

The Stanford basketball teams will have to do without their familiar green leafy mascot for their next two home games.

It seems the student who brings life to the limbs got in trouble during a recent road game and was booted for cheering on an area of the court where trees are not supposed to be planted.
After being escorted off the hardwood by security personnel, it was determined the tree did not have a pine fresh scent but more of an alcohol stench wafting from its leaves.

A new mascot inhabitor was already scheduled to be elected in early March. Until then, Stanford fans will be forced to bring their own tiny tree-shaped air fresheners to the games for inspiration.