all the popular squirrels will be there

My 6-year-old niece Bear has diligently spent the last three weeks planning my surprise party.

I think at this point everybody in the county has been invited. If you haven't yet received an invitation from my partner, my sister-in-law or my niece yet, I'm sitting at my desk writing this post to officially give you the opportunity to drop by the compound Saturday night.

If you want to yell "SURPRISE!!, show up about 5 p.m. I think that's when I'm supposed to return home so Bear can lead the screaming upon my entrance. It's guaranteed I'll give my most Oscar-worthy performance, exhibiting shock and a near heart attack upon learning of Bear's cunning and conniving ways.

There have been many conversations in hushed whispers between she and my partner Tick featuring the discussion of the guest list, foods to serve and how to decorate. From what I hear, there will be a plethora of hand-drawn squirrels to hang about the compound.

Bear asked me the other day while we were in the car what I wanted for my birthday. Knowing the work she's put into her secret endeavor, I slyly told her I'd love to have a birthday party, but there problably wasn't time to get one organized. Her face immedicately lit up thanks to a devious grin spreading across it like Homer chasing a Duff and a donut. I thought her eyeballs were going to splatter against the windshield and make that gooey noise you hear when a bug collides with a car at high speed in the summer. She could hardly contain her secret. More whispering ensued as soon as we exited the car and I was out of earshot.

So, if you don't have plans Saturday night, show up at the hacienda, BYOB and no gifts please.

And when I come in the door, stand where you can get a good look at Bear's face as she yells "SURPRISE!" It should be worth the trip over.